If I Could Go Back
If I could go back and talk to myself as a new doula, here is the advice I would give:
You don’t have to know everything to make a difference. Your presence, calmness, and care are already powerful. Skills and knowledge will grow with each experience. Even now, I go back to the first studies on the positive impact of doula support and remember that there were significant benefits with just the lab assistant observe sitting in the corner taking notes! Your presence is enough. All the birth physiology trainings are great, but not necessary to being a doula.
Birth doesn’t always go as planned, and that’s okay. Support isn’t about controlling outcomes, which you can’t do anyways since you’re a human being! It’s about holding space, providing comfort, and helping families feel seen, heard, and respected no matter how the birth unfolds.
Boundaries are essential. It’s okay to say no, to rest, and to protect your time and energy. Sustainability matters if you want to be in this work long-term.
Find your people. Other doulas aren’t your competition; they’re your community. Build community, share resources, and lift each other up.
Stay humble. Every single birth teaches you something.
It’s normal to feel nervous at your first births. Butterflies mean you care. Families don’t expect perfection, they need your compassion and steady presence.
Keep learning, but don’t get lost in comparison. Don’t compare your chapter 4 to someone else’s chapter 30. There will always be doulas with more births, more experience, or different skills. Focus on your own growth and the families you’re serving.
Your business is part of the work. Being a doula means running a practice. Treat it like a business early on by setting clear policies and procedures for yourself and your clients, value your time, and charge what your care is worth.
Self-care is not optional. Birth work is beautiful but demanding. Rest, nourish yourself, and seek support outside of birth spaces too.
Celebrate the wins, big and small. Whether it’s your first client inquiry, your first birth, or simply a heartfelt thank-you, these moments matter. Savor them.
Is it time for you to begin your own doula journey? Check out my birth doula workshop coming up in September 2025!